Sole Asian

When my German flatmate moves in today, there is no doubt that I am, and will be, the only Asian in my flat for a couple of months at least. Currently, I have a Kiwi, a Belgian, and 2 American flatmates, and it’s been great fun.

After living overseas for years, there comes a point when you just cease to notice the colour of your skin, until the occasional Asian jokes surfaces. White people cease to be white people, and they don’t all look alike. You stop hugging random white guys cos you mistook them for your bf (I'm kidding).

Perhaps I just became one of them? I actually feel more comfortable talking to Malaysians here in English rather than Mandarin, even when their English isn’t that great. Some Kiwis are surprised when I tell them that I’ve only been in New Zealand for 3 years. I feel a mixed sense of chagrin and honour when I hear that. On one hand, I have successfully blended in. On the other hand, that could mean that I have abandoned my own culture. Maybe I am a SPG deep inside, treating Caucasians like gods, and wanting to be one of them.

But then again, I’m not really one of them. I can’t stand their notion of equating a good night out with getting pissed drunk, screaming like mad women and puking on the streets. Nor can I understand their national obsession with rugby (I’m generalising, of course). The ones that I do click with are the ones who are outside the norm.

The people I hang out with in law school are mostly Asians, although they come from Indonesia, China, Philippines, Hong Kong etc. When I see an Asian, I’m far more inclined to start up a conversation with him/her, compared to a Caucasian.

When it comes to matters of the heart , I spill my beans to a select few who are unsurprisingly, Malaysian mostly. The way I think and react is so ingrained in me by the culture I was brought up in that I know only Malaysians can truly understand what I am going through. The exceptions would be those whom I’ve known so long that they’ve come to understand my culture.

As a sidenote, it’s funny how when one is overseas, one is less a Chinese, Malay, or Indian. We’re just Malaysian. Maybe the whole population of Malaysia should migrate overseas. Maybe then we can be ‘Malaysia truly Malaysia’ instead of ‘Malaysia truly Malay Chinese Indian’. Or maybe we should just abandon race-based politics.